Girlz in Love

Have you ever felt that a guy has the looks, the brains, the outlook and even the humor of your “perfect man” with a catch? The catch is the fact that he is not much of a “hit with girls”. He is wise but does not know how to really sustain or even entertain a girl. He is great in a group but when no one’s around, his guards shoot right up. Well, my dear ladies, if you didn’t already know, your “just quite perfect” man falls in the genre of “The Shy Guy”.

Now that you could find a guy so close to the man of your dreams, you can’t just let go! The first insight into the shy guys is that they are very much aware of their “shyness” and do want to get rid of it as much as you do. The catch, however, is the fact that the awareness makes them more self-conscious and you can even get the guy to blush if pushed too hard. The trick is to keep a fine balance between taking the lead yourself and still letting him be the “man”.
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Casanova is the genre of men that is irresistible and the most annoying/irritating to deal with. But we all fall for it, once at least. We know this hunk is with more girls he can count, we know also that we are just one of the many but they say “heart sees no reason” or may be that’s just plain lust. Anyhow, “the heart wants what it wants” right? So, while you are at it, why not do it right? How about getting him to make you at least “special one among the many”? And yes, it is very much possible. Believe it or not, Casanovas have a pattern of behavior and some thumb rules too! The trick is to know them, and just like they do, exploit them.

The first thing to consider here is the type of Casanova the guy is. Yes, there are types! One is the real “if looks could kill” types and the other is “decent looking” with an amazing flair with the ladies. If it is the former, your task is a bit easier. The real great looking men are often highly self possessed male chauvinists. All they need is an equally good looking girl who treats them like crap most of the time in the name of “Attitude”. So, if your Casanova is the first type, you must look gorgeous, with or without any amount of makeup. And consider yourself the queen of the universe. And that’s it. Never, not ever, lower down on attitude and you got him booked. This does not say you will be the only one on his list, but it ensures that you make it to the “high priority” ones. With Casanovas, that’s a big feat.
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It happens very often that you get bored in a relationship you are in for the past two or so years. It is natural, if not obvious to reach a stage where you crave for a change, a fling or just plain simple break. The two gravest mistakes people tend to make in this time are they curse themselves for the lack of loyalty or break up with that person altogether. I find these two as mistakes because you shouldn’t be blaming yourself for some thing that is very natural and almost bound to happen after a certain amount of time. Breaking up is not a solution either because more often than not, you’ll end up getting back together very soon. The reason being, in a long term relation, you get very “used to” even dependent on each other. Cutting off suddenly is bound to get you anxious.

So, we are right back to “bored and stuck” with some one. The first tip is to convince yourself it is temporary, at least initially. The next thing is telling your spouse how you feel “with decorated words”, if you are not close enough to say it directly. You could tell him/her that lately you’ve been feeling a little off. It is just a phase or a stupid mood swing. You need some extra space and time alone to get over with this. It is no big deal. Now, having dealt with the spouse, take some time off of calling and meeting with just them. Hang out with other friends; indulge yourself in stuff you love.

You will end up missing them after a very short while. And if you do not miss them at all, even after say a month, you need to ask yourself the big question. I wouldn’t say “break up”, I’d rather suggest to ask yourself what was keeping you together till now. If your answer is some thing like “It’s nice to have some one” or “It’s better her/him” than no one, then you need to consider letting go.

Don’t just go ahead and cheat or “not do anything about it” when you are bored. Get up and take action for life is too short to waste “bored”.

Many women live under the misconception that men only want a pretty face and a great body. They do. The key here is, they do at first. IF you are “drop dead gorgeous”, you are bound to get the attention and the “lust”. There is nothing you can do to offend the man. But all of this is strictly restricted to a short time period. Men are dominating by nature and will not stand being ruled by lust for very long. Moreover, even if you do have him at your feet, you know that there is just one solo reason. You cannot expect love or empathy out of “just looks”.

So if you want him truly hooked, you need looks and more. Looks don’t essentially have to be “divine”. A decent looking girl with “more” is often more than enough. Talking about the “more” part now. The more is your attitude - the way you carry yourself, your wit, your smartness (not intellectual intelligence) and most importantly the way you deal with other people. If you are confident, can laugh at his jokes, can make his friends adore you and treat every one at a level just beneath yourself and him, you have gotten him interested.

Now that he is interested, you want him nailed. For that, you need to play a little. Reject some things that he likes and support some that he can’t live without. Show some attitude – do not look too interested and definitely not “too available”. Always flaunt your friends. Guys tend to judge you from the friends you hang out with. Be open about trying new stuff, like sports, an outing or any adventure. The guy usually suggests them just to see how you respond. And lastly, pamper him a little. Not too much, but a little flattery goes a long way.

Many people take pride in “enlightening” you with the thought that every person is unique. This might be true for the “fairer sex”. Some may be smart, some pretty, some both, some none and some plain whacko! But in case of men, this is strictly not true. Men, the ones women should even be bothered about, fall into 5 broad categories. “Enlighten me” on any 6th you can come up with. So, here go your men, my ladies.

Type 1 – The Casanova
We are all too familiar with this kind, aren’t we? If you have caught even a single episode of the hit TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S., and you saw Joey Tribiani you know what I mean. The hunks who have been with more girls than your mood swings. The irresistible liars we know won’t even remember our name.

Type 2 – The opportunist
This type is actually very interesting. You know the times when you had a break up or had problems at home or any thing that has taken your mood six feed under and made you super vulnerable. The opportunist is the guy who happily volunteered their shoulder for you to cry on. They will support you, be with you, take all your frustration and still be super nice. These are actually the Casanovas who either didn’t have the looks or the talent to act like one.
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I decided to take up the “don’ts part of the “Do’s and don’ts” in a relationship. It is almost ironical how people tend to overlook these little nibbles of what “NOT to do” when you are in a relationship that is some thing “more than friends”. So, for all you organization lovers and list enthusiasts, here’s a list that should be on your tips if you want your spouse and your friends, all at the same time.

1. Keep your best friend and the spouse at a distance, especially in the initial stages. It happens very often that the best friend, accustomed to having you all the time, gets overly frustrated with the new spouse. The wise thing to do is to keep some separate time, talks and activities especially for her, wherein you do things like before.

2. A very common scenario is a group of friends with that one guy or girl you like “more than friends”. The more common mistake is when you tell all your friends, including your best friend about it. What follows is a series of nagging remarks and a 24 x 7 pressure on both sides. The trick here is to either keep your friends at bay or tell them only if you are confident that they will behave. A new relationship needs space and time to blossom. Friends inevitable and unknowingly kill it some times.

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